HisLovf: Our TTC Journey

Posted Tuesday, September 02, 2008 12:20 PM

"I dream of the day I can look into the face of our child, count ten little fingers and ten little toes..."

My husband and I met while we were both working in an auto parts store. I was 18, he was my manager and 25. (My parents were thrilled!). After a month of flirting, he asked me out on an official date and we've never left each other's side. We've been together for seven years no and married for two of them. I can't say enough about the love of my life. He's amazing, he's sweet, he's -- well, he's my everything. I count my blessings and thank the Lord every day for my wonderful husband.

When we first got together, a baby was the furthest thing from our minds. We enjoyed just being together and sharing new experiences. After we got married, we decided to wait for two years before starting our family. We moved from California to Arizona and put down our roots.The subject of babies didn't come up very often until June 2007. I got pregnant (though I wasn't trying), but sadly, miscarried very early. Even though it was unplanned, it was still a devastating loss. We decided to actively TTC in March 2008. I took my last pill on the first of the month and we crossed our fingers. We were so excited  when we got a BFP on the 31st -- our first try! Journals were started, books were bought, plans were made, and the new life we created was our happy little secret. Then, at seven weeks, I miscarried again.

It's been almost three months since the last miscarriage and with my doctor's okay, we are trying again. I think the best thing about TTC is the new connection I have with my husband. We are both very aware that we might be parents soon and are both so excited about starting that new chapter in our lives. I love to poke him and threaten bodily harm if our future children don't have his beautiful green/gold eyes. He always tells me that he'll send down the order.

The worst part about TTC for me is the fear. While I would be ecstatic to be pregnant, after two miscarriages I would also be terrified that something would go wrong again. I try to stay positive and not dwell on the "what ifs," but it's hard. Having such a supportive partner makes it easier to look to our future and not let what happened in the past discourage me. I dream of the day I can look into the face of our child, count ten little fingers and ten little toes; one day, hopefully soon...

> Read more about HisLovf!
> Want to share your TTC story? Email it to kstanford@theknot.com.