Trying to Conceive Q & A

Q: Partner is unsure?

2008-05-01T20:24:00Z

Q: My husband seems to have his own timeline. We had a plan about when we wanted to start trying for a baby, and now he's starting to imply that it's too soon. Do I just need to give it time, or should we be talking about it more, or what? I'm afraid he'll be having second thoughts forever!

Tammy Gold: The decision to have a baby is one of the most important and life-changing ones you can make. It should be made only after a great deal of thought and consideration, because becoming a parent will force you to be responsible for another human being. Though filled with intense joy, parenting can also be extremely challenging, and it's helpful to go into it with the right mindset. If your husband is having second thoughts, try to examine them instead of push against them.

As your husband what his fears are, and what he believes will change and what will stay the same. It's helpful to establish expectations that are in line with reality. There are many reasons that both genders worry about becoming a parent, whether related to fears about the future or memories of the past. Some men are afraid that a child will take their wife away from them. No matter what your own husband is worried about, make sure he has the opportunity to express his feelings.

I'd also recommend examining your own concerns about waiting and expressing them to your husband -- this will help him understand your point of view. Though you may not agree, it will be very helpful for you both to feel respected and head. I suggest that the two of you keep talking openly about the situation and work together to come up with a plan that's acceptable to both of you.

Boost your TTC odds >>

<< Pregnancy prep

QA Index

Q: Types of pregnancy tests?

2008-02-25T19:58:00Z

Q: What different types of home pregnancy tests are there?

A:There are oodles of different home pregnancy test brands to choose from, but don’t get overwhelmed -- you don’t need to try them all! Still, it's a good idea to test at least twice before you make an appointment with your doctor. You can swing into almost any drugstores and buy an over-the-counter home pregnancy test for anywhere between $8 and $20, depending on the brand and how many tests are included in the kit.

But first, get a grip on the basic types of tests. Some will have you pee on a stick,others will ask you to pee in a cup, and these days, some are even digital. They all test for the same thing, though -- a hormone called hCG, which is produced by the placenta and therefore indicates a pregnancy.

Pee-on-a-stick tests
Most common are tests that require you to pee on a stick or strip. Follow the directions loosely. You'll probably just need to pee on the stick or strip and wait for the result to show (usually a particular color or symbol that signals a positive or negative test).

Pee-in-a-cup test
After peeing in a cup, you'll either put a testing device in the cup itself, or place small drops of urine onto the device. If your urine contains hCG, it'll cause a portion of the stick to change color after several minutes.

Digital tests
These are designed to make the sometimes tricky results-reading process a little less confusing. If you find yourself frustrated over faded lines and barely-there plus or negative signs, pick up a digital test. They take away the guess work by giving a point-blank result of either pregnant or not.

Remember that with any test, false positives and negatives are always a possibility. Testing twice and consulting with a doctor is the best way to confirm.

Testing timeline >>

<< False negatives
QA Index

Q: Sexual lube and TTC?

2008-02-06T03:03:00Z

Q: Can lubricant hurt my chances of getting pregnant? Is any kind okay to use?

A: Yes and yes. Even on its own, vaginal secretion is an acidic sperm killer that repels healthy sperm before it can enter the cervix. Store-bought lubricant only slows the sperm further, leaving it more likely to die within the vagina, before reaching the egg.

Need an alternative? Try Pre~Seed, a new lubricant that's advertised as "fertility friendly," and doesn't seem to harm sperm. Or, try a home remedy. Some couples find water or even egg whites works as a non-toxic lubricant. There's also the old-fashioned option -- save your money, step up the foreplay and let nature do the rest.

Keeping TTC fun >>

<<Best time for sex

QA Index

Q: Sperm and hot water?

2008-02-05T22:51:00Z

Q: I've heard that men should stay out of hot tubs while they're trying to conceive -- should I really believe this?

A: Yeah, this one's actually true. Avoiding extreme contact heat to his manhood will keep your guy's sperm count nice and high. Sperm is best produced when the scrotum is about one degree cooler than the rest of the body. Think for a second about the difference between male and female bodies -- ovaries are housed inside a woman's body, where they're protected and kept warm. Testicles are outside a man's body, though, which shows us that their natural preference is to be cooler. If he simply can't resist a steamy soak, keeping the temperature below 99 degrees should keep those sperm safe.

Basal body temp basics >>

<< Best time for sex

QA Index

Q: Checking cervical mucus?

2008-02-05T03:56:00Z

Q: Should I be checking my cervical mucus? What am I looking for and how do I do it?

A: First, put down any food you may be munching on. That said... yes, you should definitely set aside some personal time to check your cervical mucus when you're trying to conceive. It's an effective way to track ovulation and know when you're at your most fertile.

Quick review of the relevance of cervical mucus (or, vaginal discharge): In the days leading up to ovulation, it gets much more slippery, clear, and stretchy than normal. Your mucus will be at its stretchiest on the day you ovulate. It should resemble egg whites, more or less. Right now, your mucus is the perfect consistency for housing sperm -- meaning this is also the best time to hop in the sack and try to conceive.

Checking your own cervical mucus isn't tough. Insert your (thoroughly washed) index finger into your vagina and circle around your cervix (or as close as you can get) to collect the mucus. Remove your finger, and once you can see it press your thumb against it. Then pull your fingers apart, and note if the mucus breaks right away or merely stretches. The more stretchy the mucus, the more fertile you are. (This is where our fertility chart gets really helpful -- evaluating "stretchiness" is a lot easier when you've been consistently recording it and therefore have something to compare it to.) You can also simply wipe the entrance of your vagina with a tissue to get a mucus sample to evaluate, but the finger method generally works better.

False Negatives >>

<< Pregnancy test timing

QA Index

Q: Cervical mucus?

2008-02-05T03:18:00Z

Q: What exactly is cervical mucus, and how is it related to ovulation?

A: As your hormone levels fluctuate, so does the consistency of your cervical mucus (a.k.a. discharge). This makes it a rough indicator of where you are in your cycle. Though every woman's mucus is different, you're most likely generally prime for baby-making when your discharge is clear, slippery, and stretchy -- this consistency best houses sperm. The mucus should remain this way for several days before your period, so that by the time you're ovulating it looks something like raw egg whites. Use our fertility chart to track the changes and find the best time to try.

False negatives >>

<< Pregnancy test timing

QA Index

Q: Does alcohol hurt sperm?

2008-01-17T04:43:00Z

Q: Is it bad for my husband to drink while we’re trying to conceive?

A:Your hubby can't give your baby fetal alcohol syndrome, but there is some evidence alcohol can mess with his sperm. What happens? Well, according to a 1994 study on rats, male alcohol use prior to conception might hurt your chances of getting pregnant or lead to children that are smaller, have compromised immune systems, or are more prone to behavioral or hormonal disturbances. Another rat study links male drinking prior to conception to hyperactive children. On the other hand, we aren’t rats and these studies don't necessarily mean that alcohol has the same effect on humans.

The conclusion? Talk to your doc and your husband, and then decide together whether he should cut back. Occasional drinking isn't generally considered to be a problem, but regular (two drinks per day, or five drinks in one sitting at least once per month) or heavy drinking (more than what's listed above) could be risky. If he drinks regularly, this might be a good time to ease off the bottle anyway -- you certainly don't want a tipsy husband taking care of a baby!

Fetal alcohol syndrome >>

<< Alcohol and TTC

QA Index

Q: TTC to-do?

2007-12-13T21:51:00Z

Q: With doctors, finances and everything else, there's so much to think about! What exactly do I need to do when I'm TTC to prepare for pregnancy and a baby?

A: Good question -- you're smart to think ahead. Use this guide to keep track of your progress. Click the links for more detailed checklists and Q&As.

Getting pregnant
[ ] Kick the pill (or any type of birth control)
[ ] Figure out when you’re ovulating
[ ] Learn to record cervicalmucus texture
[ ] Read up on conception and ovulation basics
[ ] Potential daddies -- stayout of Jacuzzis
[ ] Consider charting basal body temperature
[ ] Potential daddies -- trade in the briefs for boxers
[ ] Think about an ovulation predictor kit
[ ] Have sex!
[ ] Lose the lube
[ ] Find the right position
[ ] Spice it up in the bedroom

Diet & fitness
[ ] Work on getting any weight problems under control
[ ] If either of you smoke,quit
[ ] Get on prenatal vitamins
[ ] Balance out your diet
[ ] Get moving
[ ] Start weaning yourself off alcohol
[ ] Begin limiting the lattes
[ ] Scale back on extreme exercise
[ ] Decrease your stress
[ ] Get plenty of sleep
[ ] Potential daddies -- avoid cottonseed oils

Doctors, tests & checkups
[ ] Interview OB/GYNS
[ ] Schedule a preconception checkup
[ ] Make a list of preconception checkup questions
[ ] Discuss your (and your partner’s) medical history with the doc
[ ] Get immunized
[ ] Visit the dentist
[ ] Talk to your doc about genetic testing

Money & Home
[ ] Talk it out -- make sure you and your partner are on the same baby-making page
[ ] Check your home for harsh chemicals and asbestos
[ ] Check out your health insurance
[ ] If you’re self-employed,apply for private disability
[ ] Plan a baby budget

> Entire prenatal to-do checklist

Think I'm pregnant >>

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