6+ Months Q & A

Q: Fussy baby?

Nest Paula — Thu, 12 Jun 2008 19:28:00 GMT

Q: My baby seems so high needs and fussy. She doesn't tolerate the car seat very well, and can rarely play by herself. It gets worse towards the end of the day. Her newest thing is not letting anyone besides me or my husband hold her. I wonder if I am doing something wrong? I'm home with her all day, and I know she gets lots of love and attention. Will it ever get better? Will I have a happy little girl at some point?

Tammy Gold: With enough love, care and structure, all children can become happier beings. Babies are very difficult to understand, and need to be approached with a great deal of care. Sometimes, children that are deemed horrendous by their parents simply need some schedule tweaking and rule implementation.

I find that they do best with adhering to a very strict schedule that keeps them becoming too tired or under-stimulated. Nap and sleep time should be the same each day, as should the schedule of events like getting dressed, meals, play and baths. Keep a log of her behavior for a few days so you can note what seems to upset her. You should be able to get a clearer picture of what she likes and doesn't like, and how she responds to certain situations.

Since you're home all day with her, I'd break up her day into very small
segments that could be repeated each day. Children love routine and knowing exactly what is going to happen next. For older babies, I like to break activity sessions into 45-60 minute blocks of structured and unstructured play. A baby simply can not stay in the same room doing the same thing for several hours without getting bored and acting out.

Teething tips >>

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Q: Transitioning into daycare?

Nest Paula — Thu, 12 Jun 2008 18:53:00 GMT

Q: My son just got into daycare after months of being on the wait list. He's now ten months, and has been with the same nanny since three months. Any tips for making the transition into daycare as smooth as possible?

Tammy Gold: Do as much research as possible before your child goes into daycare. Speak openly and honestly with the center, and ask how they help to transition new children into their program. Offer as much information about your child as possible so they can create a transitional period that best suits him. Don't be afraid to make a list of information to help them understand him even better. Include information such as "If he falls down, he likes..." or "If he acts like ... it means he's overtired." In time every child will get used to a new environment, and the children and toys available at daycare will make the transition even easier.

Nanny vs. daycare >>

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Q: Changing daycares?

Nest Paula — Thu, 12 Jun 2008 17:03:00 GMT

Q: I just took my 11-month-old daughter to a new daycare (she'd been at the same one since four months, but I wasn't feeling good about them anymore), and it's not going well. She's crying and crying, and refusing to go down for her nap. How long should it take her to settle in? I know it's normal, but it breaks my heart.

Tammy Gold: Changing daycare is a big transition for children, and every child will react differently. To help her out, try to verbalize what she is feeling. Tell her she's in a new place, and it will take some time to get used to it. Also, highlight some special, comforting items at the daycare upon which she can focus her attention. I'd also bring a transitional object like a stuffed animal or blanket so she can feel some sense of home while she's at daycare.

Also, talk with her old daycare. Ask them what she seemed to like and dislike, and then offer these suggestions to her new daycare. Your old daycare might also have information regarding how she preferred to nap and how long it took for her to get comfortable.

Finally, sit down and make a formalized plan with her new caregivers. Help them understand your daughter by explaining what she likes, what she doesn't like, the best way to soothe her, and so on. Then, ask about how they've handled transitions with other children, and for any more information about how your own daughter has responded to various soothing techniques. With time and the appropriate level of care and preparation, your daughter will get used to this new space.

Smart playtime >>

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Q: Won't stop screaming?

Nest Paula — Thu, 01 May 2008 20:06:00 GMT

Q: My 11-month-old has developed a horrible habit of screaming at the top of her lungs if she wants something or gets excited, regardless of where we are. When we tell her "no" in a firm voice she thinks it's funny and will scream even louder. I've also tried ignoring her and stopping what we're doing and putting her in her room. but nothing seems to work. What should we do?

Tammy Gold: The toddler years are some of the most physically and emotionally challenging times for parents. Your child is now mobile and able to explore on her own. Every experience is based on learning via her eyes, ears, fingers and mouth. Though strange to us, even yelling is a learning experience for children. Younger toddlers do not have the ability to decipher where it is acceptable to yell and where it is not. They like to yell to hear their own voices and at times they like to scream to see the reaction that comes from their parents.

I suggest breaking down the behavior and examining whether it's age appropriate exploration or a form of expression. For example, is she screaming because she is bored and trying to get your attention, or is she screaming because she got excited (which is normal for this age)? I think in your case, since she's less than a year old, it is really just age appropriate expression. You can begin to give her messages such as 'we do not scream in restaurants,' or 'we do not scream at home,' and then distract her and offer another option. Try something like, 'instead of screaming, can mommy hear you laugh? Let's laugh together.' Laughing, singing and even jumping are all ways for her to get out excitement without breaking the noise barrier.

As she grows older, her comprehension will improve and she'll be better able to respond to your directions of 'no.' For the time being, you can direct her to where she can (a park) and cannot (home) scream. You can also try to verbalize what she is feeling -- 'are you screaming to see your friend? That's wonderful! Let's give her a hug.' Verbalizing as well as distracting might help to minimize some of the screaming. The rest will go away as she gets older and adopts other physical and verbal tools by which she can express herself.

Hunger vs. fatigue? >>

<< Teething tips?

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Q: Sleep inhibitors?

Nest Paula — Thu, 17 Apr 2008 01:25:00 GMT

Q: My eight-month-old has no problem napping or falling asleep at bedtime, but he wakes every two to three hours at night and cannot get himself back to sleep. I have tried letting him "cry it out," but it has resulted in nothing. He cries for hours and when I go in he screams even harder. What should I do?

Conner Herman & Kira Ryan: You could follow any sleep method exactly as described, but your hard work could be for nothing if something in your child's room interferes with his ability to sleep. One of us had a very similar experience with our child and the solution turned out to be as easy as removing a brightly lit alarm clock!

The next time your son goes to bed, try to sneak in before he usually wakes up. By spending time in his sleeping space, you can identify any environmental factors that may be causing him to wake up (like a blast of cool air from an overhead vent) or preventing him from going back to sleep (like a light shining into his crib). Pinpointing sleep inhibitors is a good first step to take if sleep training methods are not working.

When to nap? >>

<< Sleeping through the night?

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Q: Night separation anxiety?

Nest Paula — Thu, 17 Apr 2008 01:14:00 GMT

Q: My seven-month-old, who used to sleep through the night, has begun waking several times and crying for more than an hour. When I go in there, all I have to do is rub his back for a minute and he falls back to sleep for a few more hours. What should I do?

Conner Herman & Kira Ryan: It sounds like your baby may be experiencing the beginning of separation anxiety, Some parents are frustrated when this stage happens, but it's completely normal and truly a wonderful milestone in your baby's development. Separation anxiety means your baby has the cognitive ability to understand that you exist, even when he can't see you.

Your baby will eventually become more comfortable with his newfound awareness. In the meantime, here are some ways you can teach him that when mommy leaves, she always comes back -- whether it's daytime or nighttime.

First, give your baby opportunities to practice separating from you during the day. Start with playing extended versions of peek-a-boo with him. Disappear from his sight for a few seconds and then reemerge. Gradually extend the time you disappear to 30 seconds, and then a minute or more.

Second, if you rarely separate from your baby, start making it part of your weekly routine. This will be helpful even if it's only for an hour or so. Pick a consistent time each week and make sure your child sees you getting ready to leave your home. He may protest at first, but resist the temptation to sneak out. In fact, involve him in the process of leaving. As you put on your coat, be upbeat and say something like, "Mommy is leaving but she'll be back soon!"

Comfy sleep positions >>

<< Confusing night and day

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Q: Nanny training basics?

Nest Kaitlin — Tue, 08 Apr 2008 21:20:00 GMT

Q: Now that I've hired a nanny, what kind of instructions and training should I give her to make sure everything goes smoothly while I'm away?

Tammy Gold: Properly training a nanny is one of the most important things you can do to protect your children and ensure their best care. When working with a new nanny, I always put together a Home Care Booklet which contains all important childcare and household information. In the binder there should be a few important documents for the nanny to read and be able to reference when you are not there. For example:

[ ] In-depth job description, including all aspects of the job

[ ] Daily schedules for what the nanny should do morning until night

[ ] Schedules for each child

[ ] Schedules for pet or household events (i.e. when the trash is to be taken out)

[ ] Directions to important places (local hospital, doctors, school, classes)

[ ] Emergency information on your child, including blood type, medical history, current medicines

[ ] Emergency contact information for parents, family, neighbors, etc.

[ ] Household information (how to work the alarm, the heating, AC, etc.)

By arming your nanny with as much information as possible, you are ensuring a smooth transition and less stress during an emergency. When emergencies occur, people often become stressed and do not think clearly. However, if you set up a home care booklet, the nanny will know exactly where to go to get the crucial information.

In the beginning of the working relationship, sit with your nanny and first establish how you would like the relationship to be maintained. For example, should you each check in once a week and perhaps then once a month after things are transitioned. Be direct and tell her how you would like her to communicate with you. Remember to work with your nanny as a partner. A successful and honest partnership between nanny and parents fosters greater care and comfort for the children.

Safety around the house >>

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Q: Good baby music?

Nest Paula — Tue, 26 Feb 2008 16:53:00 GMT

Q: Any suggestions for songs that my baby and I will both enjoy listening to?

A: Going to smash that Wiggles CD if you have to listen to it one more time? Save your sanity and download our mom-approved playlist from iTunes. And, don't forget to leave a comment with your own favorite songs -- we're already working on volume two!

GET THE MIX NOW

1. ABC (from Go Baby Go, by Baby Loves Jazz)
"My daughter loves it when I just sing the ABCs to her! She giggles!" -rajjus

2. If I had $1,000,000 (from Gordon, by Barenaked Ladies)
"My baby and I love this one! She giggles every time!" -ebsandcat

3. Miracle (from Miracle, by Celine Dion)
-approved by cavalletta

4. Le Freak (from The Very Best of Chic, by Chic)
"This is Patrick's absolute favorite because Daddy sings it to him all the time." -Nest Susan

5. Lost in the Supermarket (from London Calling, by The Clash)
-approved by KnotLisa

6. Green Eyes (from A Rush of Blood to the Head, by Coldplay)
"A favorite CD is Rockabye Baby Coldplay. Our ten-month-old has been listening to it since he was born." -psy_dr

7. Godspeed (Sweet Dreams) (from Home, by Dixie Chicks)
"He listens to it every night as he goes to bed. I love humming along as I rock him." -conley77

8. A Little Respect (from Pop! 20 Hits, Erasure)
"I'm not joking... I think he likes the melody. I played at all the time when I was pregnant, and then when he was colicky, I'd play it and he'd calm down." -Nest Rosie

9. Jungle Gym (from Sing-a-Longs and Lullabies for the film Curious George, by G. Love & Jack Johnson)
"Anything from this CD is great, really" -Nest Amy

10. We're Going to be Friends (from Sing-a-Longs and Lullabies for the film Curious George, by G. Love & Jack Johnson)
"Whenever our baby gets fussy, daddy can take him into the nursery, lower the lights, turn on the music, and dance with baby -- it calms him down every time!" -ModernMomma

11. Hello Sunshine (from Better Days Are Coming -- Jimmy Cliff at A&M, by Jimmy Cliff)
-approved by KnotLisa

12. The Swan (from Carnival of the Animals, by Johnny Morris)
"Soothing for both mom and baby at nighttime." -Nest Susan

13. Jungle Boogie (from The Very Best of Kool & the Gang, by Kool & the Gang)
"We have a book by the same name, so I sing bits of the song when reading to him." -Nest Susan

14. Bumblebee (from Buzz Buzz, by Laurie Berkner)
"Anything by Laurie Berkner is great." -Nest Kim

15. Little Red Caboose (from Catch the Moon, by Lisa Loeb)
"So soothing and fun to listen to! My 2 1/2-month-old son will stop crying whenever I put that song on. You can even catch us singing along when no one is around." -MrsC0625

16. Got No Strings (from Got No Strings, by Michelle Shocked)
"Our favorite to listen to (in utero)!" -miamiartist

17. Sunrise (from Feels Like Home, by Norah Jones)
"We listen to a playlist that my mommy made with her favorite calm songs, so both mommy and baby can enjoy the music! The playlist has Norah Jones, Sting, Sarah Maclachlan and other artists that mommy loves!" -andreavoj

18. Baby Beluga (from Baby Beluga, by Raffi)
"It was released in 1980 and I used to listen to it on my parents' record player. Now I get to listen to it on CD with my son. Jonah loves the real beluga whale sounds at the beginning and end of the song!" -frklsbride

19. You Are My Sunshine (from Newborn, by Sara Hickman)
"It's a song that my mom sang to me and I plan on singing to my children." -stacinsean

20. The Rainbow Connection (from For the Kids, by Sarah McLachlan)
-approved by Nest Amy

21. Blackbird (from Too Cool for School Mixtape for Kids, by Sarah McLachlan)
-approved by andreavoj

22. Isn't She Lovely (from Songs in the Key of Life, by Stevie Wonder)
"She loves most songs from him." -Nest Kim

23. Fields of Gold (from Fields of Gold, by Sting)
-approved by andreavoj

24. Birdhouse in Your Soul (from Flood, by They Might Be Giants)
"A great download from our 'wyPod' playlist." -Nest Amy

25. Where Do They Make Balloons? (from No!, by They Might Be Giants)
"We LOVE this children's album, and this song is so adorable. I actually listened to it on my own iPod so I could memorize it and sing it to Cooper myself." -Nest Lori

26. Croque (from Pièce Montée des Grands Jours, by Thomas Fersen)
"We love that he's being exposed to all different types of genres and languages." -psy_dr

27. Wizards in Winter (from The Lost Christmas Eve, by Trans-Siberian Orchestra)
"I think this is Liam's favorite song -- he really focuses on every instrumental piece." -bretnshayna03

Alternative baby books >>

<< Favorite baby DVDs

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