0-6 Months Q & A

Q: Baby's first trip?

Nest Kaitlin — Mon, 28 Jul 2008 17:15:00 GMT

Q: I'm planning our first family vacation since baby arrived, and I'm not sure where to start. Have any tips for making sure things go smoothly?

Luckily, infants are super-portable -- especially before those little legs (and vocal chords) are up to speed. Get your crew all packed and ready to go with these helpful tips.

How to pack

Packing clothes is fairly simple: Have a spitter-upper? Bring extra bibs and onesies. Fairly tidy tot? You may get away with less duds. Pack the same amount of outfits that your baby would go through at home, and don't forget pj's and socks! For long trips, call ahead to check for laundry facilities. "When we went to Hawaii, tons of moms were washing clothes," says Nest Lori. "I'd never thought of that."

Remember: Unless you're climbing Mount Kilimanjaro, you can probably buy diapers, wipes, and so on once you arrive. You'll only need to pack enough for the flight or drive, plus a few extras for any delays. Do pack the lotions and shampoos that baby needs (be sure to check the latest information on TSA container restrictions) as well as medicines that could come in handy. "You don't want to lug a screaming, feverish baby on a midnight hunt for Motrin, " urges Nest Lori.

And, whatever you do, don't skim on the toys. Carry a nice stash to keep baby distracted along the way, including old faves and a few new ones. Just leave any squeaky, rattly or talking toys at home -- fellow travelers will be grateful. And don't forget the snacks (for baby AND parents)!

Prepping to schlep

Infant clothes are tiny -- it's gear that gives baby trekking a bad name. To avoid an overloaded dash through Terminal B, invest in multipurpose items. Look for dual-purpose gear to lighten you load, like the gogo Kidz Travelmate, which turns your car seat into a stroller ($89, gogobabyz.com).

To further cut down on gear, call ahead to see what your hotel provides (cribs? bottle warmers?). Also, check to see if they offer baby-proofing items. If not, grab a supply of pipe cleaners for tying up loose cords and masking tape for covering outlets and sticking washcloths on table corners.

If you're flying, call the airline to check their policies on baby gear. For long flights, seriously consider purchasing an extra seat and bringing the car seat along. "Infant-in-lap" can get very old after a few hours. "We've always said that if we can't afford a seat for our son, then we can't afford the trip," agrees co18c0. (Vacations are for relaxing, after all.) If you do plan on holding baby for the flight, go for a window seat -- it'll keep those tiny arms and legs out of the aisle.

Traveling by car? Make sure toys and snacks are within arm's reach and have a diaper bag packed for the bathroom, restaurant, and sightseeing breaks.

Whether you're hopping on the plane, bus, car, or train, try to schedule the journey during your child's nap or bedtime (sleeping babies don't get bored), and bring along pj's, books, or anything else included in your usual routine. The more baby feels at home, the easier the journey.

Infant hot spots

Haven't picked your trip yet? These locales are all set up for baby's first voyage.

> Club Med has Baby Club Med programs at nine different worldwide destinations, offering stage-specific child care for babies four months and up, plus special play areas, baby convenience rooms, and lots of available gear for your room (clubmed.com).

> Beaches resorts in Jamaica and Turks and Caicos offer Baby's First Vacation Kids Camp, which provides infant and toddler child care with certified nannies. Also, the resorts' Sesame Street at Beaches programs and Sesame Street Characters Breakfasts are all the rage with the diaper-wearing set.

> Four Seasons hotels are a favorite among baby-bearers -- the luxury chain spans six continents and supplies pint-sized welcome amenities, tiny bathrobes, and baby baths, baby food, strollers, teddy bears, and nightlights too!

Dealing with flight frustrations

Airline restrictions and cutbacks can make traveling with baby a pain. Try these tips for a smoother ride, straight from real moms.

> Liquid limitations: "TSA allows milk, formula, and juice. If you need more than one or two bottles, carry empty bottles and fill on the other side. Airport bars will fill your bottles with water for free." -- mags2041

> Baggage restrictions: "We ordered the diapers, wipes, and formula to be delivered to our destination. That saved a ton of space." -- mrs.peggyhill

> Big delays: "Always make sure you have extra supples: clothes for you and baby, diapers and wipes, small toys/books, etc." -- sirena1124

> Expensive airplane food: "I bring granola bars, animal crackers, Fig Newtons, Goldfish -- stuff we both can eat." -- usvibound

> Security checkpoint madness: "The best thing for us was to keep our son in the stroller until the last minute. I then walked through with him and put him right in the stroller before picking up our other things." -- kristabelle22581

> Crowded planes: "You don't HAVE to board early. Remember that it takes 30+ minutes for everyone else to board, and all of that is just extra time your child will be spending in a cramped seat getting antsy." -- Nest Lori

-- Erin van Vuuren

Packing a diaper bag >>

<< Flying with baby

QA Index

Q: Back-to-work transition?

Nest Kaitlin — Mon, 28 Jul 2008 16:44:00 GMT

Q: I'm going back to work in a few weeks and am trying to make the transition for baby go as smoothly as possible. How can I prepare?

Maternity leave fading fast? Cut down on the back-to-work chaos with these helpful tips.

Step 1: Set the date

If your return date is flexible, you might be tempted to put off the decision as long as possible. Resist! The delay is nothing but unnecessary stress. Take the reigns and move toward a decision. "The worst thing you can do is feel powerless," warns Bump expert Tammy Gold, founder of Gold Parent Coaching. "Look at your options, even if you don't have a lot of them. Is there a proposal you can put forth?" Write out your ideal plan and pitch it to your employer. "Be honest," Gold urges. Once you've set your date in stone, you can move on to tricker things like...

Step 2: Hire a caregiver

Nanny? Group sitter? Day care? What works best for you family (and your budget)? Visit day care centers, interview sitters, check references, and ask tons of questions. This isn't the time to be shy! Watch caregivers interact with your child and get a real feel for the ones you (and baby!) are comfortable with. Even if you've been on a prestigious waiting list since baby was an embryo, you should still introduce your child and make a final decision. And then? "Trust yourself!" Gold insists. If the caregiver comes recommended, has the best credentials, and feels right, go ahead and make a commitment.

Step 3: Test-drive

A little rusty when it comes to certain life skills (applying makeup, walking in heels)? There are new skills to master too (getting showered and ready with baby in tow). Preserve your sanity by giving your new schedule a few whirls. Working out the kinks now can save precious minutes when you really need them later. Your sitter needs a good warm-up as well. "Let them start as early as you're financially prepared to let them," says Gold. A trial run allows time for bonding, smoothing over questions, and practicing spending a few hours apart. (This also gives you time to get a haircut, buy work clothes, and prepare to reenter the world of grown-ups).

Step 4: Stay connected

Time in the office can make a momma feel out of touch. To help, talk with your caregiver to get a good idea of baby's daily schedule. This way, you can imagine her sleeping at naptime, strolling through the park at 11 a.m., and so on. some moms are also using technology to their advantage. "My nanny and I text all day long. It's what gets me through the day!" admitted sallyc2003 on the Working Moms message board. Some day cares are even offering streaming video on their websites! Not so tech-savvy? Drop off a camera and ask caregivers to snap a few shots throughout the day.

Step 5: Commiserate

Tons of moms have walked this path before. "You MUST connect," Gold encourages. "Mothering can be very isolating. The more you connect, the more comfortable you'll feel." Seek out other moms in your office, check out local groups for working mothers, or visit parenting websites (like ours!) to chat about your fears, roadblocks, and successes. "You can learn a tremendous amount just by listening," says Gold. "Or you can engage online and type your concerns." Either way, you'll know you're not alone.

Step 6: Give yourself a break

Emotions (and, yes, guilt) might run wild in those first weeks without baby. Relax -- it's normal. Give yourself permission to feel the way you feel. "Try setting aside five minutes of every hour to think about baby," encourages Gold. "Write down questions, ideas for things to do together... whatever's on your mind. Then refocus on work until your next 'baby break'" And don't be afraid to let a few things slide at home. "You CAN'T be everything," Gold says. Something's got to give. Let go of the elaborate meals. Put off the vacuuming. You're being a great mother, wife, and professional -- don't worry about being a great maid.

-- Erin van Vuuren

Maternity leave logistics >>

<< Back-to-work reluctance

QA Index

Q: Info for dads?

Nest Kaitlin — Thu, 26 Jun 2008 21:40:00 GMT

Q: My wife just gave birth, and I'm trying to be as helpful as possible, but have this feeling that there's more I should know or be doing. Any tips?

A: No matter how painstakingly daddies-to-be pore over the pregnancy and parenting guides, there’s invariably a lesson or two they’ll overlook about dealing with a new baby and a postpartum woman. And, according to user feedback, guys tend to miss the same few things over and over. From real moms, here are the top things women wish new dads knew (yes, there’s an entire section dedicated to diapers).

Pregnant women/new moms: Print it out, add your notes, and hand to your husband. New/soon-to-be dads: Memorize it. Now.

We still want to feel sexy.

“After having a baby, we never get tired of you telling us that we’re still sexy and that we look ‘the same’…even though our jeans tell us that’s not entirely true!” -- gearheadsbride

“Even though she’s now the mother of your child, she’s still your wife and wants to be treated that way.” -- chromiumman

“New moms need just as much attention as that cute baby!” -- harmonden

“All we want is to be loved, appreciated, and told how amazing we are -- not just as moms, but as sexy wives too.” -- Emmajoanne

We’re new at this too…and it’s hard.

“We may be nurturing and maternal, but we’re really scared too.” -- soulcandybt

“Spending time with the baby during the day isn’t a series of lounging and naps for new moms. It’s hard work entertaining a baby!” -- kim*mik

“We’re making it up as we go along too!” -- ljpeach

“Just because we’re at home on maternity leave doesn’t mean that we aren’t working all day as well.” -- kpropes

“We’re not superwomen.” -- Berwyn

We still love you; we’re just tired and cranky.

“The desire for you is still there, even though we’re exhausted!” -- Tina12312

“Although the attention obviously shifts a bit at first, we love you more than ever!” -- Soon2BMrs.P

“We get a little cranky, but don’t take it personally.” -- kathypease

“All the moments when we ‘take over’ as new moms are simply a mom compulsion and have nothing to do with not trusting your ability to take care of the baby.” -- ChiTownHipster

“We may want sex less (at first), but we love you even more than before.” -- txterri

Pregnancy, childbirth, and breastfeeding are NOT easy.

“Leave Mommy’s boobies alone!” -- lsl_53@yahoo.com

“How it feels to be a woman and have all these goofy things coming out of your body -- babies, placentas, milk, etc.” -- bethann5

“The after-birth pains are as painful as early labor.” -- HSlater351

“How long it takes to REALLY recover from pregnancy.” -- kdkdkd

“How emotional and difficult breastfeeding can be. The first two weeks are crucial and extremely hard for a new mother. There’s no way a new dad can ever understand the effort a new mother goes through to try and do the right thing when a thousand opinions are flying at them, plus issues such as latching, production problems, etc.” -- CoolMama

We need some help…and some breaks.

“We’re so tired and emotional. Bring us a simple meal with a flower and take a walk with the baby while we eat and nap. Everyone will be happier in the long run.” -- jjampm

“We need our naps, so thanks for changing the diapers and turning away unexpected visitors.” -- choochoo428

“Tell us it’s okay when we get a little grumpy.” -- shanstan

“When you watch your own kid, it’s NOT considered ‘babysitting.’” -- pielum

“Your support is needed after birth just as much -- or more! -- as during pregnancy, labor, and delivery.” -- Linnea_Ann

“You can be very helpful without being asked to help first.” -- edq143

“Just holding the baby isn’t really helping. Try cleaning the bathrooms or making dinner.” -- idahomom

“Sleep deprivation is soooo hard to live with. Give your wife lots of help during the day.” -- impnpixie

Diapers diapers diapers!

“How to change diapers without vomiting.” -- indygoldenmom

“How to not use the entire box of wipes for one dirty diaper!” -- jananddom

“I’m not the only one who should change our baby’s diaper!” -- BusterJess

“How to properly change a diaper…and dispose of it!” -- ashley17

“Moms need sleep too, and poop doesn’t kill.” -- auntiethesis

Best books for Dad >>

<< What NOT to say

QA Index

Q: Going back to work?

Paula K — Thu, 19 Jun 2008 02:42:00 GMT

Q: I'm going back to work soon, and I'm getting nervous! Is there anything I can do before the big day to make the transition easier?

Nest Lori: There's enough to get used to being a new mom... add your busy job back into the mix, and it's a recipe for utter chaos. Make your transition from new mom to working mom less stressful with these helpful hints:

Practice your morning routine. During the two weeks after my nanny started and before I went back to work, my husband and I did "dry runs" of what our mornings would be like getting ready for work. Who got up with the baby? What was the showering schedule? Who was on kid-sitting duty when? What things needed to be in order before we left for the day? We tried our routine and tweaked what wasn't working without the stress of worrying that mommy would be late on her first week back. By the time I returned for real, we were old pros!

Do some pre-work pampering. If you lived in a velour track suit and barely brushed your hair during maternity leave like me, you'll probably want (and need) to treat yourself to some pampering before making your debut as a working mom. You'll be surrounded on your first day with welcomes and questions from co-workers, and you'll feel more confident about returning to work if you look -- and feel -- great. Get your hair cut, a mani and pedi, or even a new outfit for your first day. This is like a coming out party -- go all out and have fun!

Back to work reluctance >>

<< Working mom vs. SAHM

QA Index

Q: Trusting the caregiver?

Paula K — Thu, 19 Jun 2008 02:03:00 GMT

Q: We're both going back to work pretty soon, and have started looking for a caregiver for baby. I'm worried that no matter who I pick, though, I'll never truly feel comfortable leaving my baby home with them! Any tips for making it a little easier?

Nest Lori: First, take your time in finding a caregiver. Finding the right person to care for your most prized possession will be one of the first -- and toughest -- decisions you'll make as a working mom. There are a lot of things to consider: Do you want a more formal daycare environment, or a private nanny at home? Do you have family member who can help part- or full-time? How much can you afford? What kind of coverage will you need? You and your partner should start to discuss these topics way in advance, even while pregnant. Having a clear picture of what is best and most convenient for your family will help target your search early, cause less craziness during the process and ultimately help you feel more secure in your decision.

Once you've found the right person, definitely have him or her start early. We have a nanny, and one of the smartest things we did was hire her to start two weeks before I was scheduled back at work. During that time, I showed her where things were and and demonstrated any special instructions I had, and most importantly, I could see her interact with the baby and make sure both he and I were comfortable. Hiring early also gave me the opportunity to practice leaving the house gradually -- first for an hour, then two, then four, etc. You'll have a chance to do things like get your hair cut or run errands while easing into being away from your baby for long amounts of time.

Nanny vs. daycare >>

<< Micromanaging nanny

QA Index

Q: Dropping naps?

Paula K — Thu, 12 Jun 2008 20:03:00 GMT

Q: When do most babies go from three naps to two? Is there a general rule? How will I know when it's time?

Conner Herman & Kira Ryan: In general, babies move to two naps around six months of age. However, every baby is different -- it's just as common to drop the third nap at five months as it is to drop it at nine months. Therefore, it's important to read your own baby's cues in determining whether she's ready to make the transition.

The third nap should already be the shortest nap of the day. You'll know when your baby is ready to drop this nap when she begins resisting it day after day. As a general rule of thumb, if your baby struggles (or outright refuses!) to nap for a week straight, it's time to graduate to two daily naps. A few days of nap resistance isn't a clear indication, though. She may be teething or hitting a milestone rather than saying she's outgrown her nap. But, after a full week of protesting, the message is clear: Make the decision to drop the nap and don't go back.

If baby is having a hard time staying awake in the late afternoon once you drop the third nap, you can push her bedtime up by 15 or 30 minutes so she doesn't become too overtired. At worst, you may have a cranky baby for a week or two at dinnertime. Things will eventually get back to normal, though.

Baby's sleep needs >>

<< Basic bedtime routine

QA Index

Q: 4-month wakeful period?

Paula K — Thu, 12 Jun 2008 19:48:00 GMT

Q: I've heard that babies can have a wakeful period at around four months, where a baby who's been sleeping fine all of a sudden starts waking during the month. Why does this happen, and how should I deal with it?

Conner Herman & Kira Ryan: It's not uncommon for babies to start having sleep difficulties around their four-month birthday. This ages marks a huge cognitive and emotional turning point for babies, as they become much more aware of -- and interested in -- the world around them. It can also mean they'll sometimes want to play during the night. This is actually a good sign, because it means baby is bonding with you and having a good time during the day. However, it's challenging to cater to his desire to be with you around the clock.

So, that's why the wakeful period happens. Now, what can you do about it? If you're up for sleep training, now is a good time to start. Pick an approach that you and your partner both believe in so that you can support each other through the sleep teaching process. Start when your baby is healthy and when he'll be sleeping at home for a couple of weeks.

If you're not interested in sleep training or just not ready yet, our advice is to be minimally invasive at night. When you go in, try to soothe your baby without picking him up. If you feel your baby needs to be fed, give him enough to satisfy him but not fill up his entire stomach. While these things may not get him to sleep straight through the night, they are good baby steps toward encouraging him to become an independent sleeper.

Bed sharing >>

<< Sleeping through the night

QA Index

Q: Squirmy on diaper table?

Paula K — Thu, 12 Jun 2008 16:40:00 GMT

Q: My five-month-old is really into arching his back while I'm changing him -- I mean, he's about to flip off the changing table, and distracting him doesn't always work. What should I do?

Tammy Gold: The changing table is a difficult situation for many mothers -- you're trying to keep baby safe, but he keeps wiggling away. At five months, baby can't understand the concept of safety... or even a dirty diaper! Most likely, baby was happily playing somewhere when he was scooped up for the diaper change, which understandably led him to be startled and upset. At this age, it helps to explain to him what you are doing before you change the diaper in order to introduce the transition, even though he may not fully comprehend what you are saying until many months later. This diaper change struggle can continue well into toddlerhood, so it's helpful to start a routine of verbalizing what's going on right now. Once he can understand you, it'll be easier for him to settle down during diaper time.

To prepare him for what is going to happen next, you can say, "I know you are enjoying playtime, but Mommy needs to change your diaper now." While you're changing him, offer various distractions like a mirror to look at, keys to hold or a picture to focus on -- as you've seen, it can be very hard for young babies to sit still for a diaper change, but distractions are helpful.

Diaper pails >>

<< Changing supplies

QA Index